The fruit of purpose
The pain looks a lot like herpes.
Once you have it, it never goes away. You can do things to “manage” it, but you will never be completely free of it. It is possible to reach periods of time in which you don’t notice it, don’t think about it, maybe you don’t even feel it. But then you’ll have a “flare-up” or a “pain attack” that comes out of nowhere, and in a brief second, you’ll be reduced to a babbling baby again and wondering what the purpose of all this pain is.
Complaints also “pile up” over time (a kind of compound interest in a savings account). When you have multiple losses over time, they clump together and the idea of one often triggers the idea of another. And it’s not just the deaths that bring the sadness, it’s actually the loss of relationships that is sometimes the hardest to bear. Four important people have died in the last five years (my wife, dad, mom, and a close friend), but I also mourn the loss of many friends I left in Oregon (and other parts of the continent) when I moved. back to Hawaii last year. I may never see some of these people again and that makes me sad.
This is all part of a deep understanding that I have come to understand in recent years.
Once you start losing people, the pain and sadness turn into huge emotions that get bigger and deeper as your life progresses.
It is similar to the understanding you have after you land your first job and credit card bills and student loan notes begin to arrive. You are now in debt, and unless you learn to handle it, things can spiral out of control before you know it. The stress of constant debt is exhausting, but you can control it and it is possible to be debt free (although many of us may never fully achieve it).
It is not so easy with the pain. You will never be free from regret, no matter how much you have saved or invested. But people manage to move on and live happy and rewarding lives despite the constant presence of pain. You do this by accepting the presence of pain in your life and recognizing that it has an important purpose.
The feeling of loss gives us a sense of worth.
The death of a loved one gives us appreciation for our own life.
Feelings of sadness focus on joy.
The depth of pain brings the depth of beauty.
Tragedy inspires courage.
You cannot get these lessons without pain. You cannot receive these gifts without pain. And as I watch my brothers and sisters fight for the loss of my mother, I know that the “scar” that is forming on this great wound that we have as a family will be tighter and stronger than the “normal skin” that was there a long time ago. month. . We are coming together with greater purpose and direction than ever, but we needed the loss of our parents to trigger that action.
I think that is why God saves these difficult lessons for later in life. We need the maturity of the years to understand the true value of what is happening to us. Grief and pain bring gifts, but their true purpose takes time to emerge.
Wisdom is what you get when you give pain enough time to bear fruit of purpose.