Hello single women: Valentine’s Day is about love, not lovers

When you think of Valentine, do you feel pleasure? Complain? Go to? If you are single, Valentine’s Day, along with New Years, are the two most hated holidays. Too many singles say they “hide” on February 14.

Valentine’s Day, however, is not about lovers; it’s about love. It’s been marketed for lovers, but it really is a time to connect with the people you care about. In the midst of the hearts and flowers that have been associated with this day, the origin of the holiday is lost.

In fact, there is no agreed origin. There are numerous stories about the Valentine man and the feast of love. They range from Roman days to honor the god Lupercus, to Emperor Claudius who forbids marriage, to Pope Gelasium who turns a pagan game of romance into a game about saints.

You can choose which version of the origin of the party you prefer, in the same way you can choose how to relate to Valentine’s Day. It can be a day of shame because you do not love and are not loved by a special person, or you can honor this day by recognizing those people who make your life better. Valentine’s Day isn’t about lovers, it’s about love.

Here are some tips on how to make this a special day.

1. Send cards to all your loved ones, men and women, young and old. Not only will your recipients feel appreciated, but they will also be reminded of how blessed it is to have so many special people in your life. For a fun flashback to your school days, buy a pack of the colorful cards you used to give out to your classmates or make them yourself.
2. Honor service people who improve your life. Present cards to people in your daily life, showing how much you appreciate them. It could be the person who cuts your hair or cleans your house. The bank teller may be the one to help you when your checkbook becomes unbalanced. You don’t have to wait for Christmas to let the mailman know that you appreciate the effort they put into bringing you 30 mail-order catalogs a day. Think about the people who make your life easier; This is the day to remind yourself (and them) that you don’t take them for granted.
3. Spend it with your friends. Specifically, choose February 14 to spend with people you appreciate but don’t count on often enough. Take a favorite coworker or office assistant out for lunch. Or organize a Valentine’s dinner for good friends.
4. Send flowers to yourself. Instead of getting depressed or feeling sorry for yourself because there isn’t a man in your life who sends you flowers, send them to yourself. Flowers are Mother Nature’s love letters.
5. Monitor your music. If you are likely to have a hard time on February 14th, make sure that for the days leading up to the 14th you are not listening to love songs or songs about longing for love or heartbroken love.
6. Do not hide. Don’t pretend it’s not Valentine’s Day. Say happy Valentine’s Day to everyone you see. Use a pin with hearts or at least use red and white.
7. If you are blue, don’t fight him. Give yourself permission to be sad because there is no loving man in your life. Take an hour, even two, for your “pity party.” Then it stops. Move on. Be careful not to drown your unhappiness in too much alcohol, drugs, or food. There is no reason to abuse yourself just because you are lonely and sad.