Barely Legal – Older guys dating teens?
Are you a fan of the NBA? If you watched the playoffs, you no doubt saw the T-Mobile commercial in which Charles Barkley constantly calls out D-Wade. Hilarious stuff, particularly when Chuck goofily says, “That’s why whose Eat shrimp”.
Well, despite all the hype in the pick-up community about attracting the youngest beauties possible (especially if you’re an older guy), that’s how I feel about dating girls who are eighteen or nineteen, even if they are “legal”. .
And for those of you who might be assuming this is all a function of my current age, I’ve pretty much seen the universe this way since I was 21, with a few scattered exceptions.
Not coincidentally, you see, 21 is when a guy in the States (like me) can finally order a beer.
It’s not that younger girls aren’t very, very attractive… you and I both know they are.
The deal is that they are unnecessary.
The way I see it, I can find a woman who is at least 21 and looks just as intriguing as any other 18 or 19 year old. And then, I can take it ANYWHERE I want.
On the contrary, its constraints become me limitations. And I’ve been through being relegated to “Teen Night” at the local club for over twenty years.
think about it…they are teenagersafter all.
They have barely finished high school, let alone college. This means that there has not yet been any opportunity to cultivate the necessary level of independence and maturity that most older men invariably demand.
Now, if you’re 30 and still living on your mom’s bases, all bets are off. Ignore the previous statement.
But otherwise, my guess is that most men of any advanced age beyond 21 probably just THINK they want “barely legal” girls in their rotation.
By using the word “rotation” above, I am telegraphing the stark fact that I am too squeamish to think that any older man is seriously talking about making a teenager his steady girlfriend.
In fact, here it is: I really think the vast majority of guys who think they want to date teenage girls are in that frame because i can’t get them.
Simply put, fantasy is clearly better than reality.
Beyond the question of social restrictions and maturity level, there are two other factors that are possibly even more significant.
First of all, if you’re interested in any type of long-term relationship with a woman, dealing with a teenage girl is the proverbial “box of chocolates.”
How many teenage couples do you know who have split because of age… oh… 21, because they “broke up.” With real life experience comes real change in priorities and even personality itself.
Also, how do you know your 19-year-old girlfriend will look great at 30?
You do not.
I was recently interviewed for an upcoming product for older men on dating younger women. The guys who produce it are well known, but I hadn’t had a chance to meet them yet when they approached me.
Suffice to say, they got a unique perspective.
Ultimately, I’d rather find a woman closer to my age who still gets the card. That way, you get the hot, sexy little vixen of your dreams… all with the added benefits of social community, emotional maturity (we hope), and the blessed assurance that this woman will most likely continue to age well.
Aside from online dating, where everyone’s stats are pinned to their respective profiles, the main challenge for me always came down to really identifying the type of woman I’m talking about.
After all, in real life we don’t walk around with a cartoon bubble full of statistics over our heads.
But my very real, “field-tested” premise is that there are women all around us everywhere we go who look and feel much, much younger than their age.
Humorously, most women I’ve met report being attacked primarily by men many years their junior, who are shocked to discover their real age. Meanwhile, these same women are eager to be approached by men their own age, who largely assume they are “too young.”
Ironies abound, right?
So what about this?
You just have to have the guts to meet them and find out, that is. The problem is that “approach” equals “pick up” for practically all guys.
Meanwhile, if I am friendly and strike up a casual conversation with even the fresh-faced girl behind the grocery store counter, I May discover that he is actually 28 years old. But this will only happen if I can get out of my own head, drop “agendas” and stop seeing every interaction with any woman as “picking up.”
Oh yeah, I mentioned there were two other important factors, right?
How is this… how do you really know that your “18 year old boy” is 18? If it takes the potential of handcuffs and iron bars to make the point, so be it. You don’t want to be the guy who finds out his new girlfriend is only 16 or 17 after the law says it’s too late.
By the way, don’t count on knowing his parents as proof of age. A surprising number of them are more than happy to help her “protect” you from the truth.