A helping hand for the dying
What if someone very close to you was on the fast track to death, maybe from illness, maybe from a sudden illness, or maybe just fading away in old age? What would you do? What can anyone do when all else has failed and the end is near?
No one gets out of here alive! That is the fact. We are all gonna die
one day or another. And as an unpleasant fact that it is, one must be pre-
prepared for that day to come, whether sooner or later.
What if a terrible accident left you in a permanent vegetative state?
Would his family know his wishes or would they stay arguing
On the empty shell of a body that once housed You, the individual? It has happened before, while we were all morbidly fascinated watching the fate of the young woman in Florida, to know who would win this last battle for her life: parents or husband.
Of course, these were extreme circumstances that the average person won’t have to determine, but still, discussion of end-of-life issues is a
need.
As a volunteer hospice patient for many years, I have witnessed the end
of life problems with a number of people. I consider it a special gift to be
admitted into a person’s life at the most vulnerable and poignant moment,
a gift of being present at the edge of the pass. I am also reiki
practitioner, which is a form of practical healing that channels chi, or
life force energy in my patients. I have used it on many occasions.
to facilitate the process of death, creating a protective and calm environment in
their bodies.
Although not all deaths are what might be considered “good deaths”,
was lucky enough to help at the bedside of patients who died a good
death: family members present, pain managed to a resistance level, and
an attitude of acceptance of the inevitable.
Nobody wants to die alone.
Even patients who are medicated with large amounts of morphine or other narcotics are aware of their surroundings, hearing being the last sense that
To die. One should approach a death bed with a sense of quiet reverence, as if a baby were sleeping in a cradle. When a person prepares to leave this earth,
your senses are heightened by the sensation of the energy in the room, the smell,
and the sounds. These are the last contributions to your bodies in this life.
As people near their final exit, the veil that separates the “real”
world and the spiritual world becomes clearer and more transparent. I’ve got
I had patients tell me about dead relatives and angels visiting them in their
by the bed, waiting for her transition. It is a great comfort to know that
only family members are on the side looking at them, but others in the
spiritual side are also taking care of them.
Most people will have stopped eating during the last few days. Your breathing will become what is called the “death rattle”… heavy, labored breathing. If they
are able to do so, some patients will curl up in a fetal position on their right side, called the “sleeping lion” position, which will help the spirit exit through the top of their head.
Patients respond, even under the cloud of medication, to touch. Their extremities will feel cold, as if the retreat has already begun to draw their life force through the core of their bodies.
I once visited a friend’s father as he lay dying in the hospital. While he was apparently asleep, a nurse tried unsuccessfully to draw blood from him, but he couldn’t.
draw enough blood due to lack of blood pressure. He was fidgety and uncomfortable as she pushed and shoved at her arm. I quietly sat next to her and placed my hands on her head, the flow of energy immediately starting to transfer to him. He turned to me, trying to speak, but only moaned because the effects of the morphine were too strong to overcome. I thought he knew I was there to help and that he didn’t want any more treatment from the nurse. I asked the nurse to stop sticking him with needles while I was working on him, which she was kind enough to do. The session lasted about an hour and a half. During that time, he went from an agitated state of extreme restlessness to falling into a peaceful sleep. I stayed several more hours, watching him sleep, holding his hand.
I finally left the hospital, but told the family I would be back first thing in the morning to see how she was doing. There was no need. They called me before 8 in the morning with the news that he had passed away very calmly at 6:30 in the morning. Apparently, a son had sat with him all night and when the son got up to go to the bathroom, his father took his last breath. . So aware was he of the son in the room that he didn’t want his son to see him die. It is not an unusual thing,
by the way, for parents to protect their children to the end.
People die as they live.
I have witnessed people with end-stage cancer and ALS who have been adamant about NOT receiving pain medication. These brave and exceptional patients felt that they wanted to remain consistent and present until
the moment of his final departure. Although this choice seems incomprehensible to most, I was very surprised by his ability to remain true to his ideals. It is probably just as difficult to support a person close to you while watching this
process, a dying person’s desire to maintain control over their circumstances is their ultimate requirement. And who are we to set a standard for the end of his life? Crossing over is an intensely unique process, not unlike being born into the world.
With much advancement in medical technology today, we are blessed to be beneficiaries to extend our lives. However, it would be wise to discuss with our loved ones how far we are willing to go to prolong our lives…what the quality of life will be, both for us and for those in our care. Most people don’t like having a lot of tubes connected in a hospital.
Room, but they prefer to die at home, in their own familiar surroundings.
Death is not an end, but a passage. It is not a failure to survive, but a gateway to the spiritual realm. Death is often the end of a person’s suffering and a sense of relief for those who care for them.
I used to believe that diseases like cancer that slowly rob the body of life
They were a terrible fate. I have witnessed the gift of time that cancer can give
his patients: time to make amends, time to fix things, time to be together, a finite time where each and every moment counts. And that’s the kind of time well spent that will carry survivors through the days of mourning to come.
We all have so many days here on earth to live our lives. If we could realize how quickly time flies, we could live a more joy-filled life for
the precious moments of togetherness.
Life is short, be happy.
As difficult as it is to be the caregiver of a dying loved one, it is a
Final act of love and compassion. The simplest act of being there, holding
One hand is really all that is required.