What my pup taught me about expectations in relationships

I adopted a puppy five days ago. I have to admit it’s been fun starting a new adventure!

On our first day together, this three-year-old beauty recently named Tonza pointed something out to me: how strongly expectations will influence a new relationship, any new relationship.

When adopting a new pet, one may have some preconceived expectations about their new best friend and companion. I know I did! Typical expectations people might have of a new dog include:

• To become instant friends with the new partner.
• Develop loyalty and immediate mutual trust.
• Expect the dog to meet certain standards of behavior.
• Beginning to enjoy sharing good times begins when you leave the animal shelter.
Along the way, these are reasonable expectations to have.

But each dog, like you, me and any other human being, is different with its own characteristics, circumstances and dispositions. Everyone will react differently to the same environment and situation. Each person or animal has a different past, full of baggage and challenges. The bottom line is that your new friend has to learn to live with you as much as you have to learn to live with him. As in any relationship, he will find that at times his expectations are exceeded, while at other times they are not met at all.

Interestingly, human relations experts say that the biggest problem in any relationship today is expectations. Whether it’s a romantic, friendship, or professional relationship, we often expect too much too quickly. And that can spell disaster.

So how do you avoid expecting too much too soon? How do you know when to hold on and when to let go? Experts say it all boils down to a few outdated statutes:

1. Don’t rush, but let the relationship deepen slowly.
2. Remain open to those who don’t fit your ‘ideal’ without sacrificing your standards.
3. Think about what you bring to the relationship, not what you get out of it.
4. Solve the problems to have a stronger relationship in the end.
5. Be patient!

Managing your expectations will free you from getting caught up in heartbreak, frustration, and heartbreak. Relationships don’t always go as planned, but if we can learn to deal with our expectations, we can learn to make the most of every relationship around us.

I am so grateful for this reminder from my new partner Tonza about expectations. I look forward to more learning moments with him.

What is the most memorable lesson your pet has taught you?